Position on Interactions with diverse and progressive sexual gender expressions

This article was written by Pastor Lance Rhoades August 2023 and was sent to the governing board and regional executive director Pastor Josh Grimes.

Tree of Life Open Bible Church is a Christian church located in the urban community of Pittsburgh. The surrounding community is progressive in various political allegiances. Oftentimes, conservative ideals are seen as synonymous with Christianity, but Pastor Lance would like to remind people that this is not a fair comparison. Christians should be cautious when cultural concepts are over-politicized, and then over-spiritualized.

This paper is intended to discuss some specific nuances regarding how staff at Tree of Life Open Bible Church (herein church) are to interact with the community and maintain a consistent and supportive role for community members that may otherwise feel stigmatized due to their sexual orientation or gender identity.

It is understood that individuals may have different theological beliefs about sexual orientation or gender identity. This paper does not attempt to address any theological beliefs about the morality of these positions but rather gives some basic rules for how staff at the church can interact with these communities. Individuals are permitted to maintain their personal beliefs but we do ask that staff members utilize these principles. If they have more specific theological views, we ask that they maintain neutrality in order to best minister to the whole person for each individual that participates in any one of the programs that are at the church.

While this paper does not attempt to address any theological issues surrounding sexual orientation or gender identity, it is important to consider the fact that every single person is made in the image of God. Sometimes individuals make choices that are different than what another person thinks is right, but the church does not require sinlessness to participate in its programming. Every person who enters the church for any reason should be given respect, honor, and love.

Sexual and gender diversity is an emerging characteristic that we should all be educated in how to traverse to best support the families in our care. Being educated about these topics can help our staff better support family units who are receiving our services.

It is important to note Tree of Life Open Bible Church is non-discriminatory in our services. This means we do not discriminate providing services to any individual based on the key components of federal discrimination law. When providing services, we do not require that people meet any standard that goes against these requirements.

Tree of Life Open Bible Church is also non-discriminatory in our hiring practices, except where is permitted by Federal law when it comes to those providing Christian religious services where we require that they have a personal commitment to Christianity. No other staff members are required to attend Tree of Life Open Bible Church or be a Christian in order to maintain their employment.

Properly Defining Terms

There are a few terms that need to be properly defined in order to maintain understanding.

• Sexual Orientations:
  • Heterosexual: Attracted to people of the opposite sex.
  • Homosexual: Attracted to people of the same sex.
  • Bisexual: Attracted to both men and women.
  • Pansexual: Attracted to people regardless of their gender identity or biological sex.
  • Asexual: Experiencing little or no sexual attraction to others.
• Gender Identities:
  • Cisgender: When a person's gender identity aligns with the sex assigned at birth.
  • Transgender: When a person's gender identity differs from the sex assigned at birth.
  • Non-binary: Identifying outside the traditional binary concepts of male and female.
  • Genderqueer: A person whose gender identity is not exclusively male or female.
  • Genderfluid: A person whose gender identity may shift over time.
• Family Terms
  • Nuclear Family Model: A family unit consisting of two generations – typically parents and their dependent children.
  • Extended Family Model: This includes not just parents and their children but also other relatives such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins.
  • Single-Parent Family: A family with one parent raising one or more children.
  • Blended Family/Stepfamily: Formed when one or both partners in a relationship have children from previous relationships and they blend their families together.

Assessing Implicit Issues in the Way we Communicate

At the church, we interact with many families that may not conform to typical sexual and gender stereotypes. It is important that we communicate with neutral non-assuming terms in order to minimize stigma associated with how we communicate.

For example, when we are talking to a female with children, we should not assume that there is a male in the house or that the male is the child’s father. We allow the individual to communicate to us who and how we should interact with the person.

Sometimes an individual will not be forthcoming about their relationship with another person. They may call someone a “friend” or a “roommate,” but there is something more intimate going on. Again, it is not our place to assume or address any issues with this person because this information is not relevant to how we care for their family.

There are times when forms or applications ask identifying questions for individuals. We encourage you to encourage them to fill out “whatever is relevant to the best of their ability.”

Regardless of our preconceived notions about how a person should look or behave based on their self-identification, we respect and do not question any distinctive quality a person chooses to identify with. So, when a person identifies as “white” “black” or “hispanic” we do not change based on our understanding of their skin color. The same should be true for what a person says their gender is. There is no benefit for us to question or challenge this identification in any way.

Family units are shifting and age demographics are wider; family structures do not conform to the nuclear family model. For most of our programming, this information is unneccessary, except for Sprouts where it is important to understand the question “What adults are important in this child’s life?” and “How does the child identify this person?”

Sprouts Specific Issues

Because Sprouts spends so much time working with individual children and their development, it is important that we have some knowledge about what their family unit looks like. Children in our program have various levels of familial consistency; inconsistency in the home environment can cause adverse behaviors to surface at school. Sometimes we will need to discuss what is going on in the child’s homelife in order to better understand how to help them cope with challenges at school.

When a family presents following a non-nuclear model, we try to shift our approach to identify the strengths of their family orientation while refraining from making theological, moral, or political opinions on their familial framework. If a member of the family is requesting that we change the language we are using (ie. pronouns) we should do our best to accommodate this.

There are families who are experiencing heightened tension because a loved one is transitioning genders; the child involved may be addressing confusion or misunderstanding as to what is going on in the home. It does us little benefit to maintain different words than what the child is being asked to use with their loved ones. We should do our best to minimize trauma for the child and use the words the child has been requested to use.

Should we use words different than the words requested accidentally, it is appropriate to apologize and try to use the correct words. If you are uncomfortable using pronouns that do not match the person’s sex assigned at birth, then simply use their name instead of the pronoun.

Staff should never intentionally use pronouns or names as leverage to express their disapproval of a person’s gender identity.

In the context of emergency pickup paperwork, a loved one’s information should always match whatever is on their legal identification in case of an emergency. While a person may use a name or gender that is different from their identification, it is important that the paperwork be completed with their legal identification. When an identification is presented, it is appropriate to use their name on the Identification.

In general, it is best practice to minimize gender classifying terms whenever possible. For example, the phrase “Hey guys” should be replaced with “Hey friends” that way one does not unintentionally draw attention to gender when it isn’t necessary. Drawing attention to gender is likely to trigger unnecessary conversations that could cause distractions for the classroom.

Dramatic play items should be specifically genderless. It is not a “policeman” or “policewoman” but police officer. Roleplay should always be free of gender stereotypes.

Children sometimes ask questions about biology and the differences between boys and girls. It is appropriate to use anatomically accurate terms when talking about body parts. The bathrooms at Sprouts are used regardless of the gender of a child (ie. there is no “boys” or “girls” bathroom”) so this does minimize some of this conversation. It is important to acknowledge that the statement 'boys have a penis and girls have a vagina' is not universally agreed upon by society, and initiating conversations around this topic can often lead to polarizing discussions. Should a child ask about these things, it is important to highlight the positive traits on all sides of the gender spectrum and do our best to minimize conversations that are limited to anatomy or general likes and dislikes. By and large, these conversations are going to be unfruitful because of society's influence; this is beyond our capacity to teach these skills alongside other important skills we are attempting to teach at Brookline Sprouts.

Sometimes, curriculum makes space for more diverse gender and sexual expressions, as well as family units. The teacher can be guided by their conscience as to how to include these into the lesson. The only requirement is that no teacher should stigmatize a child who has a non-nuclear family.

Conclusion

In conclusion, we understand that we are situated in a challenging time where emerging trends are different from what we may be accustomed to. Maintaining consistency in our approach toward individuals who have diverse sexual and gender expressions will help us best serve our community and share the love of Christ in our outreaches. Should you have any specific questions, please direct them to Pastor Lance.